Just Checking In

“Just Checking In”

This message has been left on my phone answering service. More than once. By several friends.

I would prefer a different choice of greeting and here’s why:

It means you (the person calling) have no real reason to call. You are lonely and want someone to fill your void. I know this because when I do call you back (IF I do), within a few minutes, we are talking about some part of your life I don’t need to know about. Yes, you are usually polite enough to first ask me ‘Well, what have you been up to?’. But then its easy to tell you’re not at all interested in my response, you will bend the subject around to end up where YOU want, talking about your totally boring life.

I am polite, and will listen to you for 10, 15, sometimes 30 minutes, but you had better have something juicy with extremely personal details. Maybe about your divorce, your new girlfriend and how far you’ve gotten with her, your money problems or something similar. And it doesn’t hurt to have prepared in advance a few subjects about MY interests, such as motorcycles, airplanes, women we both know, women you know that I should know, gossip about friends, and so on.

Instead of the message “Just checking in”, I suggest you try to leave a clever phrase that will hook me into returning your call. Such as:

• “I met a hot chick today and she said she knew you”, or
• “I need your help picking out a new motorcycle. Do you have some time this weekend?”, or
• “I think my wife caught me cheating, but I’m not sure. I need some advice.”, or
• “There’s a big singles party next Wednesday and I need you to go with me.”, or
• “I have free tickets to the Bronco’s game Sunday. Want to go? I got you a date and she used to be a cheerleader, and she’s still kind of hot.”

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