Something I Forgot

My Mom wasn’t perfect. But she did do an excellent job of teaching me manners.

And etiquette. (conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion)

Which has served me well throughout life so far. Never am I embarrassed at a ‘formal’ occasion about how to conduct myself, whether it’s a simple introduction or a seven course dinner.

I was taught to:

• Seat the woman (pull out her chair) at any table before you sit down
• Wait until the most senior person or all the females are completely seated before you sit
• Wait for the woman to start eating (preferably she has food in mouth, but sometimes she gets a forkful and keeps on jabbering while holding her fork w food on it. This may be a test of your patience.) before you even pick up your utensil.

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Also:

• Look people in the eye (don’t stare of course) and give them a firm (but not overpowering) handshake. Try to remember their name and use it again soon, if you have just met and are chatting.
• Do not EVER look at a woman’s chest area if you are face to face.
• Remember to smile.

(I’m old now so when I meet someone with whom I really don’t want to talk, I avoid their eyes and do NOT use their name and keep responses very short, but then as I exit: look them straight in the eye, in a very clear and decisive tone, say that ‘I must be going, very glad to have met, and maybe our paths will cross again’. Then, the firm handshake and stride off, purposefully.) (Keeping in mind, they may be your next client.)

Dinner etiquette:

I am asked to set the table quite often. Thanks to Mom, it’s a favorite thing and can impress any woman.

Place settings: Forks go on the left. Big fork on the inside. Knife and spoons on the right. Knife on the inside, sharp edge in. Napkin folded to left (or under) forks, crease inside. Soup bowl on top of plate. Salad/ roll plate to upper left. Glasses to upper right, water glass to the left. See diagram.

Now, if you can do this quickly and without hesitation, you will get ‘extra points’.

If something is served that requires cutting with a knife, and you’re not sure how to do it correctly, then go look it up or get help! After cutting, put the knife down on your plate, switch the fork to your right hand, spear the meat, then eat it. Slow down. At the end of the meal, when you are finished, place silverware on your plate close together with ends less than an inch over the side of your plate. This is the signal you’re finished.

Recently, after dinner, I had a friend’s wife compliment me on my manners. Then she offered to fix me up with one of her hot girlfriends!

So, Thanks Mom. I forgot to tell you when you were here.

P.S. Also, Mom, thanks for reminding me to sit-up and stand up straight. In my entire career, I never once met a CEO or president with poor posture. (Except that one guy with the greasy, slicked back hair. Name was Roy S, and for awhile he was chairman of Heights State Bank, one of our early bank clients, and one of the best. He was religious and started every meeting with a prayer. Try that today! He got ousted in the mid 80’s – too many bad loans to home builders in Houston.)